My friend Lizzie from Forgotten Cotton shared this Huffington Post article, which I promptly read because Lizzie is amazing and pretty much the best. However, the post resonated with me. It touched something deep inside my cookie-ridden soul.
I’ve always had a problem with feeling I owed people interactions. I never want to hurt someone’s feelings, which results in me being put in awful situations because I just couldn’t stay quiet, or say “no”. I’ve always had a problem with saying “no”. I’ve always aimed to please and you know what? People take advantage of that. They do. Even people you think wouldn’t. I’m not saying to go out and say “no” to absolutely everything. If you do that, you end up in some kind of rut filled with the non-living. You also have to take risks! Live your life! You just don’t have to please others in order to do this. You don’t have to sacrifice who you are and what you want to do because you’re so focused on pleasing people.
Did you know?
You don’t owe anyone anything. If something makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to do it. I know it’s hard to put your foot down. I understand that confronting toxic people is difficult. Over a year ago, I experienced somewhat of an epiphany. It was life-changing. I realized that I didn’t have to please everyone. I didn’t owe everyone a “yes”. Especially people who were just trying to get things from me. I wasn’t being unkind, cruel, or selfish. Taking care of yourself doesn’t make you those things. Saying no to things that make you unhappy or uncomfortable (that aren’t necessary like going to the DMV) does not turn you into the desolate one. It wasn’t an easy transition, I was so used to bending over backwards for everyone that I didn’t know how to start but I did it. I can honestly say that my life is becoming increasingly better. I still have problems with saying no but it’s not as bad as it used to be.
ALSO, I’d like to add. If someone doesn’t like hearing “no” and insists on being pleased, you have every right to stop the conversation. If the person doesn’t understand that the situation is making you uncomfortable, you don’t need to repeat yourself over and over again. You are not the problem. You have to look out for you too.