Did You Know? Trying

Damian and I finished building this X-Wing last night. I felt pretty awesomely accomplished. It'll be our centerpiece for our Thanksgiving feast.

Damian and I finished building this X-Wing last night. I felt pretty awesomely accomplished. It’ll be our centerpiece for our Thanksgiving feast. Porkins is the pilot so we’re going to take off Luke and R2 when he takes flight…

I’ve been in this sort of growing unmoving fear bubble that has kept me from doing a lot of things I’d like to do. Let’s call this bubble “Shadow Memz”. Shadow Memz is this sort or part of my personality that cripples me. It stops me from doing the things that I want to do because it surrounds me with all of the what ifs and possible negative outcomes of taking risks. I do not completely dislike Shadow Memz but I’ve come to realize that being in this sort of relationship with her is not benefiting me in anyway. If you know me and think “Well, that’s odd” because in person I am pretty outgoing, optimistic, and pretty much excited about everything, you need to understand that I am a multifaceted human being. There are many little things that make me who I am and Shadow Memz is one of them.

I like to prepare for things. I like to know how things will work out. I’m the type of person that will take well calculated risks but like I said, they’re pretty darn calculated. However, the older I become the less of Shadow Memz I want around which is why I’m writing this “Did You Know?’ while baking the next recipe so keep an eye out for that one! I’ve always wanted to make videos of my recipes or just things I am passionate about. I’ve been wanting to build friendships with all sorts of people without that underlying fear of what if or just crippling self-doubt. I want to play video games and stream them with friends! I want to hear what they like about these things too! AND I WILL! Because there is absolutely no reason to let my fear hold me back.

Did you know?

Fear is not always self-crippling but can be if left uncheck. I’m not a coward and being afraid doesn’t make anyone cowardly, however, it does stop people from being true to themselves. It impedes people from doing things they want to do. It stops people like me from growing. I want to keep growing. I want a better version of me and I want to work hard in building her. You can’t grow if you don’t push yourself. I’m not thinking about leaping into anything crazy right now but I am considering starting to share my experiences more genuinely online. I will make videos of things I like. I will play with my friends online. I want to initiate this conversation and I am absolutely sick of stopping myself from growing.

ALSO SNEAK PEEK TO TOMORROW’S RECIPE! PEW PEW PEW! LASERS*

I'm so full of fall love y'all don't even know what's up. Look at me sitting here with my spicy loaf self looking fine.

I’m so full of fall love y’all don’t even know what’s up. Look at me sitting here with my spicy loaf self looking fine.

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