My sister called me today and asked me… well, more like stated “Mely, you’re in a funk, right?”. Of course she knew I was in some sort of funk. My sister has this ability to just know when I’m off. I don’t ever need to tell her I am. She just knows. I’m grateful to have someone who knows me so well that even when I’m not sure that things are off, she does, and then helps me get back on track. She’s not the type that tells me what she thinks is best for me or tries to give me her own way of solving my problems. My sister listens and then gives me advice based on her knowledge of my personality or, you know, she’ll tell me to knock it off. She tells me what I need to hear and what I don’t want to hear all at the same time without coming off as a hostile judgmental piece of poo. Usually, right after I speak with my sister, I call my father. He’s the another piece of my Mely Puzzle who always seems to know exactly what to say. There’s something just soothing about my father’s laugh that I wish I could bottle up and keep for emergency feels. Oh, and I couldn’t possibly forget Damian my husband/moose/love/best friend. Tonight, I called him over and just said “I was maybe thinking… and he replies “Where are we getting snacks?”. This man read my face, mind, soul, and just knew I needed snacks.
I’m lucky, blessed, grateful, and joyous to have such wonderful family connections. I also have a few great friends who I appreciate and also love. It’s nice to be understood and accepted for the person I am. However, that does not mean that I can just stay the way I am and not continue to grow which is mainly the theme of this post. Today, I realized that there is so much I need to learn about myself and who I want to become as a person. For some reason, I thought that when I became an adult I would have everything figured out. I would just instantly wake up and know EXACTLY what I wanted. By my mid-twenties, I would know myself entirely, obviously.
LOL JOKES ON YOU, MELY! LIFE ISN’T LIKE THAT! BAHAHAHAHA!
Did you know?
Growing up isn’t the same as growing older. I’m sure everyone has his or her own definition of being a grown up or acting like an adult. I’ve always been level-headed. That has never really been an issue in my adulthood department. My problem is being too self-aware and overanalyzing everything. There are bits of me that will continue to stay the same while others will mold into the person I am becoming. Sometimes, when I’m really frustrated at myself I like to say “I don’t even know”. And that’s exactly right and perfectly OKAY. I don’t need to always know. I do need to always remember to forgive, to forget, to be kind, be courageous, and to follow my heart. None of these things are easy. But, hey! That’s what growing is all about. All that hard stuff mixed in with the good stuff. So, I’ll continue growing. I’ll strive to learn, to discover, and to accept growing parts of myself as beautiful parts of me. I hope you do too!