I’ve been wanting to shove pretzels into my cookies for the longest time. I’ve never wanted to be gentle about it. I’ve felt this desperate need to destroy pretzels and just throw them into cookie dough for a while now. I will experience no feelings of remorse when I do this. I will only feel desire for delicious cookie noms. This recipe was plainly inspired by my desire to destroy pretzels and stuff them into cookie dough. Nothing more, nothing less. This desire has been satiated. 

Ingredients
1 C of butter
3 C of all-purpose flour
2 tsp of baking soda
2 large eggs
1 tbs of vanilla extract
1 c of sugar
1/2 of brown sugar
1/2 of sliced almonds
1/2 c of chopped pretzels
1/2 of semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 toffee chips

1. The time has come for you to gather your mighty yet elegant hands and gracefully glide your way into the kitchen. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees with love and tender care.
2. In a medium sized bowl, grab your pretzels and DESTROY THEM. Do not be kind. Do not be gentle. Those hands which in a previous lines were sweet, graceful, and elegant are now mitts created to destroy pretzels. It’s crunching time!
3. Once you’ve taken out your aggression on those pretzels, and trust me, these cookies need the aggression, it will make the cookie dough extra chewy (it’s the rage) in a large bowl, cream the butter, sugar, and vanilla extract.
4. To the creamed mixture, add the flour, baking soda, and eggs. Only mix the concoction until the cookie dough takes form. In the doughs final and most temperamental stage, it is time to add the embellishments! Arm yourself! This could prove to be the most difficult part of the process. Over embellish and you could have some pretty janky cookies! No one wants janky cookies. You know what I mean. Those cookies that are goo gooey and don’t cook right. Or too hard… or dry or doughy! Doesn’t it make you sad just thinking about it?! This could be you. Remain vigilant and do not over embellish! Go forth and add the pretzels, semi-sweet chocolate chis, almonds, and toffee chips.
5. In a lined cookie sheet, bake these cookies for 10-12 minutes or until golden.  Let them sit before you remove them from their confines. They’re pretty heavy and you don’t want to handle them while they’re settling. If you do and then you have a goopy sad cookie mess on your hands, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Happy Baking and CRUSH DEM PRETZELS!

MEMA SMASH!