Ever now and again, I’ll have an existential crisis. As a 20-something year old and recent college graduate, this tends to happen a lot. But who can blame me with the endless amount of meaningless information being thrown at my face with titles ranging from “Top Ten Careers”, “How to be Successful”, and “Top 5 Worst College Degrees”.

Graduating from college does not guarantee anyone the answers to their life’s questions nor does it make you successful. But how do you define success and how does it define you? At first, I thought being successful was finding a well-paying job. I envisioned myself as this classy business woman, wearing the latest fashions, while rocking the most outrageously beautiful high heels. It was a dream, but it did not make me happy.  The older I become, the clearer things appear, maybe by the time I’m 70, I’ll be one of those grannies that just does not care and is always laughing (here’s to hoping!). I’ve realized that as children, we are programmed to believe that particular career choices and or lifestyles will guarantee us success. Hence, my dream of becoming a business woman was never truly my own. I just wholeheartedly believed that I would find not only success but happiness from this choice. Oh, boy was I wrong.

Now, this is what experience has taught me, success can only be defined by you. Not by others. You choose whether you are successful or you are not. A specific job, degree, or unattainable goal does not define you. Your actions, your words, and your behavior are yours to dictate. You are who you choose to be.

At first, things may not seem to be in your control. As an individual, you will experience moments of complete obliviousness and insecurity. You will feel lost. You will feel alone and on some occasions even sad. Nevertheless, my advice to you is, that this is just the beginning. Don’t forget to focus on the positive! But most importantly, never ever forget that no one can tell you, you are not successful or that you are worthless.