Good evening my fellow cake enthusiasts,
I’m here on behalf of my glorious blueberry cream cheese cake. He in all of his moist yet delicious glory has asked me to provide my people with his recipe. It is his heartfelt desire for everyone to partake of this scrumptiousness. Who am I to deny his most purest wish?
4 oz of cream cheese
8 tbs of butter
2 c of all-purpose flour
1 1/2 (or two) tsp of baking powder
1 tsp of vanilla
1/2 c of sugar
1/2 c of milk
1 and 1/2 c of blueberries
1. You are on a delicious quest, one that will require you to venture into the darkest, hottest, burny depths of the kitchen. You must arm yourself with the proper equipment. Oven mitts will be indispensable, you will also need a towel, and burn cream. Burns are not a laughing matter. Approach the oven whilst wearing your oven mitts and pre-heat it to 350 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, cream the butter, cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla. Do remain vigilant. That oven is heating up as you cream. Do not let your guard down. If you do, not only will the oven trick you into not wearing your mitts but you will be absent minded enough to not be appreciative and kind towards your creamy concoction. Do not let this happen. The batter needs you.
3. To the creamy goodness, add the flour, baking soda, egg, and milk. The cake batter will be thick and creamy. It is meant to be this way. Tell it how blessed you feel to be able to gaze upon its luscious bod. Once the cake batter is pleased with itself due to your relentless complimenting, winking, and kissy noises, fold in the blueberries.
4. Before you lovingly place the batter into its prepared cake pan, reassure it. Let the batter know that it’s being amazingly brave to be going into that oven without you and how you will be waiting patiently for it to become beautiful.